I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
