i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
