What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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