Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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