Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
