By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
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So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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