yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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