oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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