There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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