I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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