Porn is love you can see.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
