please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
