Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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