She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Mom said you looked used
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
