Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
