so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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