Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
