I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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