When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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