Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
