I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
