Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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