i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
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