please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
