IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
