The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
