so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
