Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
