I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
