The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
