It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
It's official drugs can't kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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