he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
