My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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