i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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