i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I checked into jail on foursquare
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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