Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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