so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
