am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
