you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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