Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
