I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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