I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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