Pappa wants mamma naked
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
