K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
dude. I can hear the air.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
