I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
