Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
