My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
