You're completely useless in the revolution.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
