I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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