Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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