After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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