No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
