yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
