my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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