hotel room ftw
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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