We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
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Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
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I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.