i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I think my fart just growled at me.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
Cake is only good when you eat it
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
Just general bites
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.