he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
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i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
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Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
It's rum buckets o'clock
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.