Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
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Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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