Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I am naked and annoyed.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
