I heard we made out
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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