I feel great
I just peed on a car
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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