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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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