Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
